We thought it was time to get around to a true performance review for our favorite latex salesman Candidate for Illinois State Treasurer. Thanks to Andy and Seth for the inspiration.
We think it would go a little something like this:
Truth Team: Mr. Frerichs, thanks for coming to your performance review.
Mike Frerichs: No problem.
Truth Team: So, you're in charge around here. Is that fair to say?
Mike Frerichs: Absolutely. I'm the boss on this campaign for Illinois State Treasurer.
Truth Team: Ok...so take us through a day in the 'life of a boss'.
Mike Frerichs: Well...the first thing I do is:
Lie about my accomplishments [like a boss]
Vote to raise my own pay [like a boss]
Propose a massive Service tax on Illinois [like a boss]
Hide my record from taxpayers [like a boss]
Wear earmuffs [like a boss]
Post my whereabouts on Facebook [like a boss]
Make false claims in videos [like a boss]
Duck out of candidate debates [like a boss]
Get asked "What's Your Deal?" [like a boss]
Wear a suit to a Habitat for Humanity build [like a boss]
Read the Truth Team [like a boss]
Say things that are convenient [like a boss]
Put on my earmuffs again [like a boss]
Take tainted campaign contributions [like a boss]
Try to change the subject of the campaign [like a boss]
Ignore my constituents [like a boss]
